ADVENTURES IN THE MALE DOMINATED FIELD OF COMICS AS WRITTEN BY A MADEMOISELLE

I've always said I'm pinup with a message so let's have a conversation. I've mentioned I'm an artist on this blog and that includes my foray into comic art. I started doing a local con and that first one introduced me to the feeling of being a woman in comics. I always heard of situations but felt somehow that wouldn't be part of that constellation. Got commissioned if you can call it that for a pinup for a book (btw it was paid in exposure). I started conversing with the party and within a week i was hit on. It went from liking my nose to my tits. I dropped the project and cut contact. That sane year i met two other people whom i thought were my friends. That imploded this year but I'll touch that later. Second year a neighbor of a friend who showed at the con started chatting me up after i complimented his art. Day 3 of talking boom it happened again. Here's the deal, you see that girl above in those pics...that's me. I wasn't always this pinup lady you see before you, i was the resident bullied weird chick outcast. I lived a sheltered life taking care of disabled parents and my only friend was my cat Tiger. I lived the world through a tv screen so i didn't understand the nature of things in people other than mockery and pain. One day at a Dairy Mart at 11 i grabbed something that changed my life X Men #1 Jim Lee's retooling of the xmen that at the time was the most popular comic with it's 5 glorious covers. That changed my life. I was like them. An outcast and shunned among my peers for being different. I found my true north. Comics saved my life. Fast forward to adult me and my decision to depart from my fine art background to pursue my passion. It's been rocky i won't lie. I get discouraged by the sexism which became part of my world through it. The very thing i loved now holds pain for me too. I've been manipulated. Hit on. Made to feel like an object. To be seen and not heard. I'm not a damn doormat for your insecurities people. I come into pinup and comics with a message. My life wasn't sugar pie and lollipops and i want to help people not feel alone. I've been hurt this last month by people who claimed to be my friends. I'm not even sure if they can even see how absolutely askew their reactions and actions are. I feel bad for that. I won't stop caring for these people because I'm that person always. I value honesty. I value no smoke screens or gaslighting to cover their ass. Does it hurt to just be honest with things??? The other party literally just happened and i was floored. In the end he mocked my mental illness. I draw the line there. I didn't 'inconvenience" my family or friends for 26 years until it became my undoing. I don't hide it anymore. It needs clarification. Discussion. Acceptance. You're a piece of shit when you take that sacred thing and mock it. You're not a good person. You're not a friend. This ties to comics because that's how i made these two people part of my world. Stupid Sabrina. Kindness is for idiots. No, it's not. I won't stop being me. I won't disappear from comics. I'll blaze my trail in all my artistic endeavors. For those men or even people on comics who pull this shit straight up go fuck yourself. I won't let these experiences tarnish a field that literally brought me up and saved my life. When you say you're a damn friend mean it too. I'm getting tougher with this garbage so do not underestimate my kindness for weakness. This is all just building a boss bitch.